How PTSD Affects Relationships and What To Do
- North Star Psychology
- Feb 19
- 4 min read
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) impacts not only the person experiencing it but also their relationships with partners, family members, and friends. The symptoms of PTSD—such as emotional withdrawal, hypervigilance, irritability, and avoidance—can create barriers to healthy communication and connection. However, with the right strategies and support, relationships can remain strong despite the challenges posed by PTSD.
This article explores how PTSD affects relationships, common struggles partners and loved ones face, and actionable steps to navigate these difficulties effectively.
How PTSD Affects Relationships
1. Emotional Distance and Withdrawal
People with PTSD often experience emotional numbing, making it difficult to express affection, joy, or connection. They may:
Seem emotionally unavailable or detached.
Have difficulty engaging in conversations about feelings.
Withdraw from social activities or intimacy.
2. Irritability and Anger
Hyperarousal—a key symptom of PTSD—leads to increased irritability, frustration, or anger. This can manifest as:
Overreacting to minor stressors.
Frequent mood swings.
Difficulty controlling anger in arguments.
3. Avoidance of Conversations and Activities
Many people with PTSD actively avoid trauma-related reminders, which can extend to discussions about emotions, conflicts, or responsibilities in a relationship. This may lead to:
Avoidance of social gatherings or outings.
Reluctance to discuss issues in the relationship.
Shutting down when emotions run high.
4. Hypervigilance and Trust Issues
PTSD can make people feel constantly on edge, leading to mistrust and difficulty feeling safe in relationships. This can show up as:
Overanalyzing a partner’s words or actions.
Difficulty trusting even close loved ones.
Feeling unsafe in otherwise normal situations.
5. Sleep Disruptions and Fatigue
People with PTSD often struggle with nightmares, insomnia, and restless sleep, which can:
Make them irritable and exhausted during the day.
Lead to separate sleeping arrangements with a spouse.
Affect overall well-being and patience in the relationship.
What Loved Ones Can Do
1. Educate Yourself About PTSD
Understanding how PTSD affects the brain and behavior can help reduce frustration. Learning about symptoms, triggers, and treatment options enables partners and family members to respond with empathy rather than frustration.
2. Communicate with Patience and Clarity
Avoid pressuring a loved one to talk about trauma.
Use softer, helpful questions instead of demanding answers. For example, instead of asking "Why are you this way?", you should try instead asking "What are some ways that I can support you?".
Express support with statements like: “I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk.”
3. Encourage Professional Treatment
Some of the most effective treatments for PTSD are Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) and Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE). Encouraging a loved one to seek therapy can lead to significant symptom reduction and improved relationship quality.
CPT helps people identify and change unhelpful thought patterns related to trauma, improving emotional regulation.
PE gradually exposes people to trauma-related fears in a safe environment, reducing avoidance behaviors.
Therapy can improve both the person’s well-being and the health of the relationship.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Supporting a loved one with PTSD is important, but it’s also essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a balanced and healthy relationship.
Decide what behaviors are acceptable. Supporting someone does not mean tolerating verbal abuse, aggression, or harmful actions.
Encourage self-care for both partners. Both the person with PTSD and their loved ones need to focus on their own well-being.
5. Support Rather Than “Fix”
It’s natural to want to solve your partner’s struggles, but PTSD recovery is a personal process. Instead of trying to “fix” their symptoms:
Offer consistent emotional support.
Allow them to express emotions at their own pace.
Encourage but don’t force professional help.
6. Take Care of Yourself
Caring for someone with PTSD can be emotionally taxing. Partners and family members should:
Seek therapy or support groups for themselves, if it's needed.
Maintain hobbies and friendships outside the relationship.
Set time aside for self-care.
When to Seek Professional Help for PTSD and Relationships
If PTSD symptoms are severely impacting the relationship, couples therapy or individual therapy may be helpful. Some signs that professional intervention is necessary include:
Escalating conflicts or emotional distance.
Severe trust issues that prevent intimacy or communication.
Physical aggression, substance abuse, or self-harm behaviors.
At North Star Psychology, we specialize in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) and Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE) to help people manage PTSD and improve their relationships. Seeking therapy is not a sign of failure—it’s a step toward healing for both partners.
Call (205) 797-1897 or email us at info@NorthStarPsyc.com to schedule a free consultation.
Final Thoughts on PTSD and Relationships
PTSD can place significant strain on relationships, but understanding, communication, and professional treatment can help couples and families navigate these challenges.
By recognizing the ways PTSD affects relationships and using effective coping strategies, partners and loved ones can foster stronger connections and a more supportive environment.
If PTSD is interfering with your relationships, know that help is available. Recovery is possible with the right treatment and support system.
References
Foa, E. B., Hembree, E. A., & Rothbaum, B. O. (2018). Prolonged Exposure Therapy for PTSD: Emotional Processing of Traumatic Experiences. Oxford University Press.
Resick, P. A., Monson, C. M., & Chard, K. M. (2017). Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD: A Comprehensive Manual. Guilford Press.
Monson, C. M., & Fredman, S. J. (2012). Cognitive-Behavioral Conjoint Therapy for PTSD: Harnessing the Healing Power of Relationships. Guilford Press.
